I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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