Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
