please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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