she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
