I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
