And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
