at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
