Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize