Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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