tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize