they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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