it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
