plz talk dirty to me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
