I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
