Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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