Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize