What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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