at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
