i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
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