Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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