apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
