I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
