Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
