one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
