Christians are straight up FREAKS
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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