Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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