So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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