She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
