she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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