A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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