She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
