Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize