i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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