I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
