dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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