maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
