and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize