College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
