**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
