She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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