happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
