Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
