There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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