some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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