This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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