Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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