I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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