so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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