READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
