the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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