I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
