We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
