i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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