omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
