Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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