friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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