Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
