no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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