Christians are straight up FREAKS
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
